My first time Offroading (Spoiler: It didn't go well)

A couple months ago I had this epiphany. We’ve been traveling all over the world with our kids, but we hadn’t spent much time exploring our own country. There is still so much of the country I haven’t even visited. For the first time ever, I don’t have anything dictating what I can or can’t do. I may be having a mid-life crisis but the kids getting older is really impacting me and I want to share as many moments with them as possible. So we came up with a plan. Next year I’m scheduling my work so that I can take off much of the summer. And the kids and I will be traveling across the country visiting as many national parks as we can, overlanding. What is overloading you say? You know, where we live out of our Land Cruiser for 7 weeks. I’m serious.

In order to make this a reality, we’ve been researching a ton and making modifications to the LC. We will be installing a rooftop tent and are figuring out all the other stuff that is needed beyond the lights and bumpers and ladders we had already planned. For me, it means I have a lot to learn. There are new apps, wilderness survival skills, cooking tricks, and oh yeah, how to drive this monster of a vehicle. Josh discovered the perfect solution and signed me up for a mega convention happening near Asheville called Overland Expo. Not only do they have every product manufacturer known to man, but they have every Instagram famous vehicle that Josh can drool over. For me they have hundreds of classes to learn as much as I can in three days. I went along with it and headed up to Asheville to learn as much as possible.

For the first day, I got up early and drove from Charlotte. Most people are from across the country and drive their rigs there to camp. I splurged and got the onsite parking pass to make getting in and out easier with my commute. Or so I thought… When I arrived at REEB Ranch, there was a bit of a line to get in. There seemed to be a lot of confusion. They asked me if I had 4 wheel drive (have they seen my car?) before letting me continue to the lot. The better question would have been whether I knew how to actually use my 4WD.

I should have known when I pulled in and they gave me a “route” to get to a spot. I had turned on the button that I thought was 4 wheel drive and made my way to the spot. It had been pouring my whole drive and it continued now. For the next 5 hours it poured torrential rains. The whole event is outside but luckily the classes were in tents. Still, I was freezing and thankful I had worn my heavy duty boots. By lunch time I was sinking in mud up to my shoe laces. People were sliding everywhere. I’ve never seen mud this crazy! My goal was to not actually fall into the mud. (I saved that for Day 2)

Earlier in the day I knew I wasn’t going to be capable of making the trek back to Charlotte after such a long, cold day. Josh was awesome and booked me a room at a close bed and breakfast. I was relieved to put on dry shoes and climb into my ride at the end of the day. That is, until I looked around and realized I was now surrounded by mud. Some guys around me tried to help me find a route out but it wasn’t happening. My wheels started spinning and then I began sliding down the hill backwards. I wondered if this thing would flip.

I contemplated going over a small ravine to get to the road in front of me but thought that probably wasn’t a great idea. Looking back at it, I should have. Another 30 minutes of trying routes with guys directing me back and forth got me nowhere. They suggested I try going out the other side of the field. I had no choice as the idea of sleeping in my car when it was going to snow was not appealing. The other side of the field could only be exited through a fairly small fence opening. My car would normally fit through easily, but it was covered in mud and I could envision sliding sideways right into the gate. Oh boy. I went for it and thankfully made it through. I thought I was good.

Another group of men helped me come up with a plan to get me to the next point. I asked several of them if they would just drive the car for me. No luck. I don’t think anyone wanted to be responsible for this thing crashing. Either that or they had no clue how to drive it either and didn’t want to admit it. They all kept yelling, “Just don’t stop! Don’t stop!” Oh no. This didn’t sound promising. I started down the hill and soon saw the pool of mud to the left. I knew there was no way I was getting through that and veered right where I saw another car going up a grass hill. I felt confident I could make it up that hill. Just then, a staff member jumped out in front of my car. I wasn’t allowed to use that hill because they needed to be able to get other people out later in the weekend. What about me?

There comes a point where you have no choice but to just be nice. And beg. I told the man I couldn’t get the car out. No matter how many times he told me to go that way, or drive straight, or whatever, this car wasn’t doing it. To be honest, the car probably would but I had no idea how to do it. The mud had caked onto the tires so thickly that there was zero traction. I asked him to get in the car and drive it. He said no because he was muddy. I told him I didn’t care. Please get in the car. He asked me how much experience I had driving in mud. None. Offroading? None. Comfort with this car? None. I must have sounded insane but I told him I was here to learn. He finally got in the car. I won.

It took him 20 minutes and us getting out the owner’s manual to find a way to get that car up the mud hill. Halfway through the car slid out turning a full 90 degrees but somehow he kept it going and got me out onto the road. I saw all the people watching us and congratulating us on that spectacular feat.

So all in all, I’d say my first offroading experience was terrifying and embarrassing. I don’t think I actually had the 4WD on correctly. Now I know. I guess this is how you learn - trial and error. I don’t feel quite as bad now because I later read that other trucks and SUV’s were being winched out of the field. Meanwhile, Josh is just jealous that he didn’t get to “play in the mud”.